‘I Got Really Ill and Ended Up in a Mental Ward’: Ruby Wax Breaks Her Silence on Depression, Trauma and the Journey That Nearly Broke Her
Once famed for her fearless celebrity interviews, comedian and writer Ruby Wax has opened up about the darkest chapter of her life — revealing how a quest for meaning ended in a psychiatric ward, and why she believes humour saved her.
The 71-year-old is speaking candidly about her lifelong battle with depression in her memoir-turned-stage show I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was, based on her 2023 bestselling book.
In the show, Ruby reflects on a wild international journey that initially resembled a travel diary — until her mental health dramatically collapsed.
“When I wrote the first half of the book somebody said, ‘This is okay, but it’s a travel log,’” she recalled.
“But then when I ended up in the mental ward, they said, ‘This is a hit!’”
From Fame to the Psychiatric Ward
Appearing on Saturday Morning with Susie Ferguson, Ruby said she is excited to bring her show to Christchurch, Wellington and Auckland next month — a country she describes as “the best place in the world”.
“If there was a God, he said, ‘Let’s give it one more chance,’ and he made New Zealand.”
In I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was, audiences follow Ruby from an adventurous search for meaning to a devastating mental health crisis that saw her hospitalised.
Although she says she didn’t find meaning inside the psychiatric ward, she did uncover something else — a childhood trauma she believes drove her relentless pace through life.
“I was locked in my house as a kid. I had no idea.”
A Childhood Shaped by Fear
Raised in Chicago as the only child of Austrian immigrant parents, Ruby describes a home marked by physical abuse and emotional cruelty.
Her mother, Berta Wachs, was a glamorous former “it girl” who spoke eight languages — while Ruby, struggling with undiagnosed dyslexia, was placed in what she calls “the slow class”.
“It was a cruel house, and it’s a miracle I survived it,” she said.
“I knew the only way out was to get a sense of humour. That was my safety gauge.”
From Actress to Celebrity Interrogator
After finishing high school, Ruby moved to the UK, training as a classical actress before finding fame in 1991 as a BBC celebrity interviewer.
She became known for her bold, irreverent style — famously interviewing stars including Pamela Anderson, Donald Trump and Bill Cosby.
Looking back, she says some of those encounters are now impossible to watch.
“Their whole thing was humiliating women — and boy, did they,” she said of Trump and Cosby.
“But I stuck it out because I had a show. I wasn’t going to cry or walk away.”
She recalls being kicked off Trump’s private jet in 1996 after laughing at his presidential ambitions, and alleges that Cosby once put his hands around her neck during an interview.
Leaving TV — and Finding a New Purpose
After stepping away from television in the early 2000s, Ruby studied mindfulness at Oxford University and went on to write several self-help books, including Sane New World and Mindfulness Guide for Survival.
In 2015, she was awarded an OBE for services to mental health.
She says depression — which she first experienced as a child — isn’t about sadness.
“It’s about being completely incapable of going back to who you used to be,” she explained.
“Your personality disappears, and you assume this is your new self. It’s horrific.”
‘This Is Where I Shine’
Despite everything, Ruby says the stage remains the place where she feels most alive.
“I’m happy in my body because I’m with my people,” she said.
“This is my happy moment — I get to meet the public.”
During her New Zealand performances this April, she will also invite audience members to share their own stories, turning each show into a shared act of survival, honesty and healing.
